Tag Archives: Storms

A Prom, A Puppy & Precipitation

Sometimes when I’m first waking up in the morning, still lying in bed and hoping that by some mysterious act of a power bigger than all of us, the coffee will be ready and waiting for me, I wonder what could happen during the course of my day that would be exciting enough to write about.  I really need to stop doing that.

Last weekend was the final prom of my daughter’s high school years.  It was bittersweet for me.  I’m very excited for her as she embarks on a new chapter in her life – the college years, but I’m a little melancholy as this also marks the end of her ‘childhood’ so to speak.  We have the rest of our lives to be adults, 72178_10201186174920798_2117353952_nbut the innocence, magic and freedom of childhood are gone much too quickly.  Gionna’s was taken from her earlier than most.  My daughter had to grow up rather quickly once her little brother came into the world.  If you’ve read my previous posts, than you are familiar with Joey and his disabilities.  Gionna & Joey share a very close and special bond, but he requires around the clock care and there were many times during the past eight years that her wants were put on hold.  When domestic abuse reared its ugly head, that robbed her of the trust and never worrying about a thing that we seem to do as children.  All she has endured and experienced has made her into the amazing young lady she is today – and I couldn’t be more proud of her.  She is strong, opinionated, a little sassy and doesn’t take shit from anybody.  For better or for worse, she is just like her mama.  God help us all.

When her prom date arrived, I went into Gionna’s room to check on her and she looked absolutely stunning.  I was speechless.  And then she did something that I will never forget – she took my hand in hers and wanted me to walk her out into the living room where everyone was waiting.  Gionna held my hand so tight – I can’t remember her doing that since she was a little girl and I was walking her into kindergarten. I thought my heart would burst – I was still ‘mommy’ and she still needed me.  There are moments in our lives as parents that we always remember, not just the typical milestones, but the moments that seem to happen when we least expect it – the ones where time almost stands still, allowing us to take it all in, to commit it to memory because there is no promise that the moment we are experiencing will ever happen again.  If we’re fortunate, each of us has stored in our memory moments like that, the ones where we can recall every tiny detail, the ones we hold close until we take our last breath.

Last week, a local animal shelter announced that it would be closing for two weeks for renovations and they had over fifty dogs that would need temporary homes.  I’m not sure what possessed me to volunteer to foster a puppy, seeing how my life is chaotic at best and a hot mess at worst, but I made the phone call to the shelter and told them we would love to welcome a four-legged bundle of fur into our home.  We were told that we would be given a 20 pound brindle terrier mix.  She didn’t have a Whiskeyname and as soon as we picked her up, Gionna immediately named her ‘Whiskey’.  We’ve had Whiskey for almost two weeks and its been eventful to say the least.  First, there is her new moniker.  I’ve already received a few quizzical glances when I’m outside shouting at 6:00 a.m., “Whiskey, where are you – mommy misses you“.   The latest member of our family is a bundle of energy and our other dog, a beautiful lab mix named Rocco, is less than pleased that we have brought this tiny tornado of a terrier into our home.  Whiskey is playful to the point of possibly being the poster puppy for ADHD.  She has two speeds, fast and faster.  Add to this, I’ve had to crate train her – I won’t even begin to discuss that adventure.  Right now, we’re not sure if we are going to keep her.  I am getting quite attached to her though and I love her spirit and curiosity – but Rocco still hasn’t warmed up to her – and he was here first.

So that brings us to today.  I’ve been up since 3:00 a.m. with my little guy.  We are under a tornado watch and when the barometric pressure changes, Joey’s seizures often increase. When that happens, his intestines become a mess – use your imagination because I promise you, you don’t want me to write about  what his bowels have done today.  I’ll say this, he’s had to have two baths and he is now wearing his fourth change of clothes. The storm is now just a couple of hours away and as odd as it may sound, it can’t get here fast enough for me.  Once the storm arrives, Joey’s seizures will end.  I know how strange it must sound that I’m wishing for a possible tornado to arrive, but until you watch your child suffer through seizures and intestinal issues, you wouldn’t Tornadounderstand.  Since I’m not originally from the South, I don’t become as paranoid as the natives do when an impending tornado is in the forecast, but I am a little worried about this one.  It’s made quite an impact so far in Missouri and Mississippi and all we can do is wait and see if it’s going to unleash its fury here.  I had to giggle when a local meteorologist referred to this as ‘a weather event that could bring possible precipitation’.  Unless he’s planning on selling tickets and beer and this tornado is taking place on a stage, this isn’t an event.   Another meteorologist is calling this a ‘weather situation’ that ‘may bring precipitation’.  Guys, it’s a damn big storm that is probably going to cause some terrible damage.  Once that happens, then there will be a ‘situation’ and we can then discuss how to help those in need.  Maybe we could organize an event to do this.  And really – possible precipitation?  My degree isn’t in meteorology, but when I glanced at the Doppler Radar a few minutes ago, it was all green, which translates into rain.  My favorite forecast comes from Dr. Seuss and it is accurate 100% of the time:

“The storm starts, when the drops start dropping.  When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.”   ~Dr. Seuss

So now we wait.  Our ‘safe place’ is all ready for us should we need to take cover and for the moment, Joey is calm and watching television.  Ironically, he’s watching the Weather Channel.  It’s his favorite thing to see when we are under any type of severe weather warning.  He absolutely loves the colors of the radar.  In a twisted sort of way it’s a little comical that one thing that is causing his seizures to increase is also what he enjoys watching.  Our family is anything but typical so to me, it makes perfect sense.  And again, it’s all about the moments anyway – and now at this very moment, he’s happy.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. ~Maya Angelou

It’s been an absolutely exhausting week.  Dealing with idiots usually is a tiresome and frustrating ordeal and lately I’ve had something tossed at me almost daily.  Denials from insurance companies, forms to complete wanting to know if it was ‘medically necessary’ for my son to have been transported by ambulance instead of by car when he stopped breathing last year, drama from the ex, financial woes, and a few lies just to keep things interesting. I’m getting to the point that if I had a day free from stress, just twenty-four hours, I’m not sure I would know how to act.   I don’t want to be that person that is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, always skeptical and guarded.  What a terrible way to go through life.  I feel a little foolish wasting my tears on all of this but I think sometimes a person gets to such a point of frustration that dam breakcrying  is the only option left, whether you are a man or a woman – it’s a type of release.  And so the dam broke – this wasn’t crying though, this was weeping and there is a difference.  Weeping involves the entire body and for me it is the result of holding it together and pretending everything is all right for so long that you just can’t anymore.  And usually something quite small breaks me.   My body took over and I had no control, I just gave in to it.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”   ~Bruce Lee  

I read once that crying helps a woman just like swearing helps a man.  Well damn’t, I’ve done a hell of a lot of both so I should be in great shape about now!

I didn’t arrive at the age I’m at without learning what to do to feel better when all seems hopeless.  For me, it’s an old movie (I’m talking black and white old), a hot drink, a fire and someone to cuddle with.   However, there are rules that go along with this temporary, yet highly comforting, respite of mine:

Rule #1:  I can’t think about anything that is causing me grief;  

Rule#2: The phone must go unanswered;

Rule #3: I have to be able to devote a minimum of 3 hours to my ‘getaway’;  

Rule #4:  There is a dress code – the most comfortable pair of pajamas for all involved.

So last night  I made a bed on the floor in front of the TV with almost every blanket and quilt my mom had made us.  I put my little guy in his pajamas and weIMAG1874 snuggled down for the evening.  Movie of choice, “Gone With The Wind”.  It was in color, but it’s one of our favorites and since I make the rules, I also get to break them.  I love watching my son watch movies.  He always smiles during the scene where Scarlet dances with Rhett at the ball in Atlanta.  And I have to admit, I love her for  bucking the system and dancing with another man while she was supposedly ‘grieving’ over her dead husband.  That woman wanted (and needed) to dance and nothing was going to stop her, especially what others might say or think about her for doing so.  I’m drawn to movies that take place in another era, especially ones that have a character like Scarlet O’Hara in them.  Some might say she portrayed a villain of sorts, mean and greedy.  But there was so much more to her than that. Simply put, she didn’t conform to the rules of society and I adore her for that.  I love being whisked away to a completely different time and place and then seeing which character I can relate to. I need that when things get to be overwhelming in my time and place.  And I just love Mammy and how she handles Scarlet… I think we all need a Mammy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ7r2OVu1ss

Of course, nothing in my era changed after the movie was over.  Well, one thing changed, my back was killing me.  How was it that we could lay on the floor for hours when we were kids and get right back up in mere seconds.  I sounded like a bowl of Rice Krispies when I was getting up – everything was snapping and popping.  It was worth it though.  I received some of the sweetest pizap.com13621648889151smiles from my little guy while we watched Scarlet manipulate her way in and out of situations.  Joey is so in tune with my emotions, I think he knew that his mama had the weight of the world on her shoulders.  When he intertwined his little fingers with mine, there were tears again, but these were the happy kind.

I’m very big on visualization – it helps me cope.  For the past year, things have been rough, and at times, almost unbearable.  I’ve visualized myself walking through some horrible catastrophic storm – of course, I’m wearing my signature stilettos and my hair look fabulous.  The storm may subside occasionally, but only to pick up again, often accompanied by gale force winds and golf ball size hail.  But all storms at some point must end and one day, mine will be over.   I picture myself looking back and wondering how in the hell I made it through. And knowing me, there will probably be a small part of me that doesn’t believe the storm really is over.  But you can bet your sweet ass that when I do walk out of this storm, I’ll be a different woman, I already am.  And maybe that’s what life’s storms are all about.  They make us stronger, wiser, they often present new opportunities to us.  Think about it, the brightest bolt of lightening is evoked from the darkest and ominous of storms.

iconic red dress - vivienne leigh gone with the windI’m still going through my storm but in the words of one of my favorite characters, the lovely, high spirited and vivacious Scarlet O’Hara, “…I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”  And to my haters, and don’t for one second think I don’t know who each of you are and what you think about me,  I have just this to say, “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn“.

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized