Monthly Archives: March 2014

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~C.S. Lewis

If you could be any age, what age would you be and why?  Even if it were only for a day, what time of your life do you long to return to?

For me, I think that age would be four.  There’s an innocence and wide-eyed wonder we still have at that age.  I knew nothing of family conflict, physical abuse, divorce, lies or any other of life’s cruel realities.  I loved absolutely everyone and everyone loved me.  The world was a beautiful and peaceful place.  It was truly a time free of worry.  But what I remember most, there were no distractions – nobody seemed to be in the rush they are in today.  Time from my loved ones was as available as the air that I breathed.  And my mom was always there for me.  I never woke up wondering if  I would see or talk to her that day, I just knew that I would be able to.  It was the one thing I could completely count on and trust in, she would be there, no matter what.

Almost four decades later, I still want all those things.  I suppose what we want doesn’t change, just the people that we want those things from – they sometimes change.  There is a primal sort of feeling in the way we want and need to know that there is someone out in the world that loves us, that cares about us – no matter what we have done, how we have acted or how unlovable we may be at the moment.   There is a very deep security, a safety net even, knowing that someone you love, loves you back.  It’s the voice you need to hear when everything seems as if it is falling apart;  it’s the familiar hug that makes all your troubles disappear, even if it’s only for awhile; and it’s the touch of a loving hand on yours that without words, says, ‘it’s all going to be all right, I’m here for you’.  When that is taken away from us, when we no longer have the person that provided us that much-needed and longed for security, the void left is very deep and irreplaceable. It’s an empty and hollow feeling like none I’ve ever known.  Sometimes I wish I was a kid again –  skinned knees are so much easier to fix then broken hearts.

“Where’d the days go, when all we did was play? And the stress that we were under wasn’t stress at all just a run and a jump into a harmless fall” 

~Paolo Nutini

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LENT – It’s What’s NOT for Dinner

lentEvery February I begin to wonder what I will give up for Lent.  I admit, I’m  not always successful in my abstaining from whatever it is I have chosen.  Ok, let me just be perfectly honest, I’m an epic failure at Lent, rarely getting past four days let alone forty.  So a few years ago, I decided that I didn’t have to necessarily give up something for Lent, why couldn’t I do something that I don’t usually do. Something that would make me a better person.  I could be more charitable with my time, I could perhaps make a difference in someone else’s life.  It’s no secret that I do not like to conform and I’m not a huge fan of the rules society or religion places upon us.  So putting a spin on how I was going to handle the Lenten season wasn’t much of a shock to those that know me well.  Besides, the year I gave up coffee only caused me to swear more, so the following year I gave up swearing which almost led to stroke like episodes.  My health was obviously at risk – Jesus would not want that.

This year I decided to let those who have touched my life in some way know how much they mean to me.  Every day, beginning on March 5, I have written a letter and mailed it (no, not an e-mail – a letter with an envelope and a stamp ) to a person who has made a difference in my life.  Maybe what they did happened ten years ago or it could have taken place only ten days ago – it could have been monumental or maybe a small, random act of kindness, it doesn’t matter, forty people will have received a letter from me by the end of the Lenten season.  And given my life’s circumstances, it will be very easy to write to forty people who have been there for me.  This endeavor may very well carry into our next religious holiday, maybe Rosh Hashana.  Wait, wrong religion.  But you get the idea.

Personally, I’ve never understood how giving up something like Facebook or cookies or chicken strengthened one’s relationship with Christ.  But that’s just me.  Giving up sweets isn’t an option for me, I’ve been on a 12oo calorie diet for six weeks now – the only thing sweet I see is my children’s faces and given that one of them is 19, even that metaphor is a stretch.  I also don’t drink soda or eat fast food – two of the most popular things people choose to abstain from for forty days.  According to Twitter, here are the most popular things people are giving up:

Whatever you choose to give up for Lent is a very personal decision – and for me, doing something extra is a good fit.  I’ve already heard from one person who received a letter from me.  I didn’t have her mailing address, so I drove to her home and placed the letter on her porch with a flower from my garden.  She called me later that day and was almost in tears.  You know, those happy tears us women are prone to.  Giving up chocolate wouldn’t have made her day or caused me to reflect on all the good in people – but reminding her how much what she did for me & my family a few years ago sure did.Roseanna Borelli

So yeah, I think Jesus is ok with me still drinking coffee and swearing now and again.  And we all know that Jesus was a coffee drinker, it’s in the Bible – Hebrews it!

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