Monthly Archives: October 2013

Multi-Tasking Mayhem

Grocery Shopping With Gionna, Summer 2011

Grocery Shopping With Gionna, Summer 2011

I went to the grocery store today for a few things.  Not a big deal and hardly worth writing about.   Well, not in my world.  No, in my little corner of the world, the boring and mundane seem to somehow morph into comedic events that often find their way to my blog or occasionally my Facecrack page.

Almost every morning before I get up, I wonder what is going to happen that I will be able to write about, because more often than not, by the middle of the day a level of chaos has ensued that would rival an Abbott & Costello routine. Actually, the first thing I do each morning is say this little prayer, “dear God, please, please keep me from saying something stupid, don’t let me swear in front of my mother or laugh at the most inappropriate of times.”  I’m beginning to think that God is extremely busy between the hours of 4:30 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. Central Time because he has yet to help me hold my tongue.  We need a Patron Saint of “Are You Really Going To Say That Out Loud”.  Perhaps there is a St. Filter of Foligno.

But I digress…

I arrived home from the grocery store, carried the groceries upstairs and began putting them away. During this time the phone rings.  It’s a lady from the company that supplies my son’s diapers and she needs to know how many diapers Joey has left so she can reorder more for next month.  No problem, I go back downstairs to Joey’s closet and begin counting – she puts me on hold;

Another call comes in while I’m doing this – it’s a different company calling to refill Joey’s formula, but they need to know how many packets of formula I have on hand before they can refill the formula.  So, I stop counting diapers and begin counting formula packets.

In the middle of counting formula packets, I realize I haven’t yet put the groceries that need to be in the refrigerator away.  So I stop counting and run back upstairs.  I’m almost to the top of the stairs when there is a knock on the door. REALLY!?!   I turn around and head to the front door, but then decide not to answer it – it’s probably someone selling something.  I go back downstairs and resume counting formula packets.  I’m almost done when the call waiting clicks again.  It’s the lady from the diaper company – she hung up and called back.  Oops!  Her voice isn’t quite as pleasant as before and I detect a hint of an attitude.  I remind myself of my early morning request to God to keep His hand over my mouth.  So far so good.

I’m back in Joey’s closet counting formula, no, wait, diapers.  Yes, diapers. Now the knock on the door has escalated to a multi ringing of the doorbell. I stop counting and run back up the stairs and open the door.  It’s a lady from down the street thanking me for helping her find her lost dog last night.  She goes on about wanting to take me to lunch tomorrow or maybe coffee and then starts to tell me what a beautiful home I have and OH MY GOD WOMAN PLEASE STOP TALKING BECAUSE I’M COUNTING! I smile, mumbleMulti Tasking something and invite her in, while at the same time glancing up to the kitchen and seeing the groceries still on the counter, cradling my phone on my shoulder and running back downstairs to see how many diapers Joey has left but then I remember that the formula packet lady is still on hold.  I click back over and apologize for keeping her on hold.  She asks me again for the number of packets Joey has left and I just blurt out 240.  Why that number?  Because the radio station that is playing in the background just announced that if you are holding a ticket with those three numbers, then you will win $100.  The lady tells me that it is impossible for me to have 240 packets because that is more than they send to me in a month.  Well damn.  I tell her that I was probably counting diapers and put her on hold. I tell the lost but found dog lady to make herself at home and I get diaper lady back on the phone.  I tell her how many diapers are left and she asks me if I’m certain.  At this point I’m certain of nothing and I jokingly tell her that but my humor is not well received.  She tells me that I must tell her exactly how many diapers I have or I could face penalties.  Ooooh, I’m scared.  Is The Divine Director of Diapers going to show up on my front porch demanding a recount.  Is there a division of dim wits at the NSA now watching how many diapers cross Joey’s derrière?

In the end, diapers were ordered, formula packets were counted and refilled and I made a new friend in the neighborhood.  But taking everything you just read into consideration, is it really any wonder that when I went to get some water from the refrigerator a few minutes ago, this is what I found:

Roseanna Borelli

Would you like to venture a guess as to where the milk that I just bought is located?  Yup, it’s in the laundry room, on a shelf, next to the bleach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkbQDEXJy2k

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“The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.” ~Publius Cornelius Tacitus

Video By Roseanna Borelli

Our government shutdown last week.  And while Barack would like for us to think this is an epic event that can be compared only to an apocalypse, the truth is, only 17% of the government has shutdown.  Barack has deemed many services still essential.  More than half of his wife’s staff (makeup, hair, etc.) are still employed,  Michelle’s website,  http://www.letsmove.gov/ is up and running and the White House chefs all still have jobs.  As of today, Medicare, the United States Postal Service, tax collection and our military all continue to operate – but Barack did have to cut all sports and entertainment TV to our troops overseas.  God forbid they enjoy themselves if and when they have even a minute of free time from risking their lives for us.   Good luck trying to visit the National Zoo or any National Park – and don’t even think about trying to view Mount Rushmore, Barack made sure we can’t even slow down on the roads that our tax money pays for to stop and look at that national monument.  

“We just can’t trust the American people to make those types of choices…. Government has to make those choices for people.” ~ Hilary Rodham Clinton

I remember enough from my high school government class that each year Congress has to agree on a budget to fund the government.   This year we seem to be at a standstill, with Congress unable and unwilling to agree on how best to use federal funds.  It is my understanding that they couldn’t even agree to a stopgap measure to temporarily provide funds for our government. 

The point of contention in all of this is funding the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare).  In case you’ve been living in a cave for the past few years, Obamacare is the president’s pride and joy that will increase the number of Americans who receive health insurance by forcing them to buy it or face severe fines.  At first, I thought this was a ridiculous tactic by the republicans, a type of temper tantrum, if you will.  But in the past few days I have read and heard countless stories from personal friends of the nightmare they are now faced with regarding their health insurance.  Sure, they can keep their current health insurance, but the rates have more than tripled and their deductibles are five times higher now.  How in the hell is this affordable to average, hard-working American citizens?  Barack is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, promising us one thing and delivering something that can only be described as its polar opposite – and the begin of our demise.

I hope like hell all or part of this tyranny of a healthcare plan is either doneRoseanna Borelli away with or forced to undergo a major overhaul – actually, I wish that for our current government.  Our rights are slowing being stripped from us – this is not the America I knew even fifteen years ago.  For those of you that have been drinking the Kool-Aid, you are about to have a very bitter taste in your mouth as the rest of Obamacare and his presidency unfolds.  

When I taste something bitter, I spit it right back out.  And then I make a little video…

“When enough people realize that they are slaves but don’t have to be, revolutions happen.”  ~ J.S.B. Morse

“I am for doing good to the poor, but…I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. I observed…that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. And, on the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves, and became richer.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

“You know something is wrong when the government declares opening someone else’s mail is a felony but your internet activity is fair game for data collecting.”  ~ E.A. Bucchianeri

“The only way to make a difference is to acquire power.”  ~ Hilary Rodham Clinton

“Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart.
”  ~ Jarod Kintz

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October 9, 2013 · 5:18 am