Don’t Mess With Nonna

NonnaTwo houses down from mine is an older couple – the wife is a New Yorker and the husband is the epitome of a southern gentleman. They are proof that opposites sometimes do attract.  The wife spends almost every morning on their back deck and she is a rather loud woman, let me also add, she’s full-blooded Italian. Her conversations are always a mix of Italian and English – and quite often, comical.  When I’m watering my plants in the morning, I can hear her on the phone with her daughter and it’s safe to say that she does not care for her son-in-law.  I know this because I’m well versed in Italian slang and various Italian defamatory remarks and this woman has used them all in describing her daughter’s husband.

Their grandchildren are visiting for a few weeks this summer and while I was outside earlier this morning, I could hear her going at it again, this time with her granddaughter, who might be all of eight years old.  The guilt this woman can serve is the kind only found from an Italian/Catholic upbringing (I’m speaking from experience) and this woman has mastered it.   I poured a cup of coffee, sat on my deck swing and this is what I heard….

Nonna:  Why is your finger in your nose?  God gave you ten fingers and he didn’t want any of them up your nose!  Good luck getting a date…

Granddaughter:  My fingers aren’t in my nose and I don’t want a date…

Nonna:  So now I don’t know what a nose with a finger in it looks like?   What? I’m stupid?!?  And good you don’t want a date, because boys don’t date girls with fingers in their noses.  

Granddaughter:  I wanna go home

Nonna:  You know what else, you gonna have the nose of an elephant now.  That’s what’s gonna happen – elephant nose and no date.

Granddaughter:  I wanna go home

Nonna: Sit down, you need your hair brushed.

Granddaughter:  You’re not fair

Nonna:  Life’s not fair, where’s the damn brush?

Granddaughter:  You’re not combing my hair, I brushed it yesterday and it hurts when you do it.  

Nonna:  You have to suffer to be beautiful, sit down…

Granddaughter:  Well why do I need to be beautiful since I have an elephant nose and never dating?

Score 1 for the granddaughter.



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2 responses to “Don’t Mess With Nonna

  1. WOW!!! Good pic!
    Mind follow me too??

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